My Husband Picks the Bathroom Lock When I Spend “Too Much Time” in the Shower
When trust breaks down in a relationship, even basic things like showering can turn into a big problem. In this story, our reader is dealing with her husband’s intense jealousy, which turns something as simple as taking a shower into a fight. His baseless suspicions lead to controlling behavior, and it even gets to the point where he invades her privacy in a really shocking way. Our reader dropped us a message.My husband doesn’t let me spend much time in the bathroom. He says “normal” people spend 10-15 minutes in there. If I spend more time than that, he thinks I’m pretending to shower while texting or calling other men.
He even stands by the door listening to what I’m doing, and if the sounds seem “suspicious” to him, he starts banging on the door, asking what’s going on. Once, after a stressful day at work, I took about half an hour to shower and relax. My husband shouted, “What’s taking you so long?” I said I was almost done. He didn’t believe me. He tried to take the door off and started picking the lock. I couldn’t believe what was happening next – he stormed into the bathroom holding his phone and recording me. Thankfully, I was already dressed. He said he wanted to catch me cheating and use the video as proof.
I can’t take this anymore! How do I explain to him that what hes doing is not normal?Thank you for sharing your story! We’re really sorry this happened and would love to share a few tips that might help you out. Create clear expectations.—>Make it absolutely clear that you won’t tolerate this behavior. Tell him that everyone deserves personal space and privacy, and invading yours is unacceptable. Make it clear that if he’s not willing to change and respect your boundaries, you may need to consider whether this relationship is healthy for you. Let him know that if he can’t respect your privacy and trust you, divorce may be the only option.Understand why he lacks trust.—>His behavior shows a major lack of trust, which is something that needs to be addressed head-on. Ask him directly why he feels the need to monitor you or assume the worst when you’re simply taking time for yourself.
Reassure him if you need to, but make it clear that constantly accusing you of cheating without reason is harmful. Couples therapy might be a good option if trust issues are deeply rooted. Notice the red flags.—->It’s important to acknowledge that this behavior is more than just insecurity, it’s toxic. Constantly accusing you, invading your privacy, and controlling your time is not healthy. These are clear signs of a toxic relationship. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Assess whether this relationship is truly bringing you happiness, or if it’s causing more harm than good. Document the incidents.—->In case things escalate, keep a record of the incidents. Document his behavior in case you need to seek outside help later. This could include writing down the dates and details of what happened. If his behavior becomes more aggressive or threatening, do not hesitate to take more serious action. Your safety is the top priority, so don’t be afraid to call the police. In this article, we have another personal story from our reader. She and her kid had to leave a swimming class because her stretch marks “scared” other kids. What should have been a fun and relaxing moment turned into one filled with embarrassment and self-doubt.