My house used to be spotless when it was me and my husband. But then his friend came to stay and fights and clashes began. My husband didn’t care how I felt or about the distress I shared. It all finally came right when I took matters into my own hands.
When my husband offered his friend sanctuary at our home, he did it without my consent. Little did I know that having his longterm pal there would become a nightmare. Circumstances pushed me to take drastic measures to remedy things.
This is a photo of the bedroom after my husband’s best friend, Alex, had been staying with us for a few weeks. I cannot describe the smell to you, but believe me, it is putrid and unbearable! Alex moved in with us because his house was undergoing major renovations.
To be honest, my husband invited his friend to come live with us without discussing it with me first. I wasn’t happy with this arrangement, asking, “How long will he be here? And why didn’t you talk to me first before making such a drastic decision?”
“I am sorry, love. I wasn’t thinking straight. I allowed my excitement to control me,” he explained. The poor thing looked sincere in his apology, so I relented. But little did I know that would be a big mistake on MY part.
Initially, it was supposed to be a short-term arrangement, but weeks turned into months. My husband, Jake, thought it would be fun to have his best friend around. But he didn’t consider the extra work it would create for me.
“Don’t worry, babe,” Jake said the day Alex arrived, carrying his duffel bag and a box of video games. “It’ll be like old times. We’ll have a blast!” He also vowed that they’d stay out of my way and wouldn’t be a nuisance.
I forced a smile, but inside, I was already dreading the mess and the idea of living with two men. Jake and Alex had been inseparable since college, bonded by their love for gaming and sports. I, on the other hand, liked my peace and order.
Within days, the house transformed, and NOT in a good way! Empty beer bottles littered the living room, snack wrappers were everywhere, and dirty laundry piled up in Alex’s room! Jake and Alex would stay up late.
All they did since our guest came to stay was play video games or drink beer together. Their laughter echoed through the house, while I tried to sleep with a pillow over my head. I was so overwhelmed by all the extra cleaning I had to do.
And to add to that, I was starting to feel increasingly lonely. One evening, after a particularly long day at work, I found the kitchen in shambles. Crumbs covered the counter, the sink was full of dirty dishes, and a mysterious sticky substance featured on the floor.
I couldn’t take it anymore! “This has to STOP!” I said to myself through clenched teeth and balled-up fists. I decided to tackle my issues with Alex alone with my husband. But, he and his friend were glued at the hip and it was hard to get Jake by himself.
When I finally got a small gap where my husband was by himself, I decided to confront him. “Jake, can we talk?” I called from the doorway of his home office, where he was immersed in work while Alex was knee-deep in another video game in the living room.
“Sure, babe. What’s up?” he said, not looking away from the laptop screen. “I can’t keep up with all the cleaning. I need some help around here.” Jake paused what he was doing and turned to me with a dismissive wave.
I must say, I didn’t expect the response I got from him and it really hurt. Brushing my concerns off he replied, “Oh, don’t be such a downer! You just can’t stand that everything is not about you. Besides, it’s only one more room to clean. It’s not a big deal.”
His words stung! I was about to say something back to him when I noticed he’d gone back to his work! He wasn’t acknowledging my presence anymore! I walked away, feeling both angry and hurt. That night, I lay awake, listening to the childhood friends having a great time!
Then and there I started planning my next move. I decided to show Jake what “not a big deal” really meant. I figured he needed to experience it firsthand. The next morning, I woke up early and gathered all of Alex’s trash.
Since they slept late, they were going to wake up much later than me. I picked up the empty cans, dirty clothes, and half-eaten food and dumped them all in Jake’s office. By the time they woke up, the room looked like a war zone!
“Hey, what the hell?” my husband shouted from his office as soon as he opened the door. I knew throwing all the trash in there would have the most impact since Jake worked from home. He needed that space to be functional.
I didn’t bother responding or attending to him since I knew why he was shouting. Instead, Alex popped in and laughed, “Whoa, bro! Your office is a mess! You should do something about that if you want to get any work done.”
Off he went to prepare some breakfast and get back on the couch! Jake didn’t confront me but pushed everything into one corner so he could enter and work. As the days progressed, dirty dishes, random socks, and leftover food piled up in my husband’s office, causing him to freak out.
“I can’t work like THIS!!!” he shouted for the whole house to hear. I walked in with a sweet smile. “It’s only one room to clean, Jake, so do it. Not a big deal, right?” My husband was FURIOUS, but he couldn’t argue with my logic. Alex, on the other hand, looked sheepish.
“Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was that bad,” he mumbled. “Maybe you should help out more,” I suggested and left them to deal with the mess. For a few days, things improved. Jake and Alex tried to keep the house cleaner, but their efforts were half-hearted at best.
The mess crept back, and I felt my frustration rising again. One Friday evening, I couldn’t take it anymore and confronted Jake. We got into a huge fight where he accused me of being a party pooper. Alex even tried mediating, but since he was the main cause of our stress, I told him to stay out of it.
My husband tried defending his friend but that made me angrier. I decided I’d had ENOUGH! I packed a bag and called my best friend, Lisa. “Can I crash at your place for the weekend?” I asked. “Of course, hon. What’s going on?” she replied.
I explained the situation, and she welcomed me with open arms. That weekend, I enjoyed the calm and cleanliness of Lisa’s apartment. I didn’t have to pick up after anyone, and it was a much-needed break.
On Monday morning, my phone buzzed with a call from Jake. “Please come home,” he begged, all desperate and ashamed. “The house is a disaster, and I can’t find anything I need. Alex is impossible to live with!” This man had a nerve calling me after going silent the whole weekend.
But I still felt a pang of sympathy, yet I stayed firm. “I’ll come back when the house is clean, and Alex is gone.” Jake sighed. “Okay, okay. We’ll clean it up immediately. Just please come home today, my love?”
“I’ll think about it,” I replied, not wanting to commit to anything and make him think he’d won. To my surprise, within minutes he sent me a video of them tidying up the house. I chose not to reply to the message but after discussing the matter with Lisa, I decided to go back home.
I returned later that day to find the house SPOTLESS! Jake and Alex had scrubbed every inch, and my husband’s friend had packed his bags. “Thanks for the hospitality,” he said sheepishly. “I’ll find somewhere else to stay until the renovations are done.”
As Alex left, Jake pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t realize how much work it was. I should have listened to you.” I softened, seeing the genuine regret in his eyes. “It’s okay. I just need us to be a team, not you and Alex against me.”
From that day on, things improved. Jake made an effort to keep the house clean and helped out more. Our home became a place of peace again, and our relationship grew stronger.
This is a photo of the extra bedroom after my husband’s best friend stayed with us for a few months. I cannot describe the smell to you, but believe me, it is blissful! Now the torment of having Alex over is just a memory of a lesson learned.
Jake smiled, wrapping his arm around me. “And one we won’t forget.”
Life returned to normal, but the experience brought us closer. We learned the importance of communication and respecting each other’s space. And I knew that no matter what challenges came our way, we could face them together.